Journey to Ithaka, Trauma and Elements of the Healing Process

We talk about trauma a lot these days and I, for one, am happy about it. It’s very helpful to use trauma to tell some stories in a way that sheds a more useful light on them and perhaps offers a solution. However, because we talk about trauma a lot more, the word is used in different contexts. In the text, I want to outline some things that everyone needs to know about what trauma is and how to being their healing journey. And while “healing journey” sounds like pretentious woo, I am hoping that, by the end of this text, you’ll see that it is, indeed, a journey, with all the poetics that the word entails. It just occurred to me to end this blog with a poem – beware!

What is trauma?

When we use the word trauma, we refer to a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that overwhelms an individual's ability to effectively process. In other words, it’s an event so incomprehensible that it shatters a part of your internal world. You have no idea what it means and, therefore, you are helpless and can’t process it. Traumatic experiences can vary widely and may include, but are most certainly not limited to, situations such as natural disasters, accidents, physical or sexual assault, violence, war, terrorism, the sudden loss of a loved one, or ongoing abuse. As we will see further, this is just one way of looking at trauma, one that is perhaps easy to understand but, nonetheless, a bit simplified.

What distinguishes trauma from other merely stressful or difficult, painful experiences is the magnitude of the impact it has on an individual's psychological and emotional functioning. Trauma can disrupt a person's sense of safety, trust, and belief systems, leading to a range of distressing symptoms. Trauma stops a person’s life in its tracks or switches you over to a whole new terrain that you never planned on visiting. If you think of your life as a geographical landscape, trauma is a whole in the ground after an earthquake or a sharp cliff – a feature that makes you change the path you’ve taken without exception.

It's important to note that the experience of trauma is highly subjective and can vary from person to person and it is also partially culturally determined too. What is considered normal for a member of one culture may be highly traumatic for someone else. What may be traumatic for one individual may not have the same impact on another. Additionally, trauma can be acute, resulting from a single event, or it can be complex, stemming from repeated or prolonged exposure to traumatic circumstances.

The big T and the small t

Gabor Maté, a physician with a philosophical bent, distinguishes between "big T" and "small t" traumas in his book about addiction – In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. This distinction helps highlight that trauma can arise from various types of experiences, some more obvious and more visible than others.

"Big T" traumas refer to significant and typically easily identifiable traumatic events that are widely recognized as deeply distressing: rape, a car accident, etc. These events are often sudden, life-threatening. "Big T" traumas can have profound and long-lasting impact on a person’s life.

On the other hand, "small t" traumas refer to less overt or noticeable forms of adversity. They may not meet the criteria of a single significant traumatic event but can aggregate over time and have a cumulative impact on an individual's well-being. "Small t" traumas can include things like emotional neglect, chronic criticism, bullying, ongoing exposure to violence in the community, subtle forms of discrimination, or living in chronically stressful environments. While everyone’s "small t" trauma may not be as immediately overwhelming as a "big T" trauma, their combined effects can be just as significant. “Small t” traumas often go unrecognized, and their effects remain invisible for long periods of time and this makes them particularly insidious and difficult to address. After all, how do you heal from something that isn’t a thing, isn’t a defined event? How do you heal from something you’re not even fully aware of?

C-PTSD

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is a psychological condition that can develop in individuals who have experienced prolonged or repeated traumatic events (“small t”), typically within the context of interpersonal relationships. It is often associated with chronic and interpersonal trauma, such as childhood abuse, neglect, domestic violence, or prolonged captivity.

C-PTSD is distinct from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in that it encompasses a broader range of symptoms that extend beyond the core PTSD symptoms. While PTSD primarily focuses on the aftermath of a single traumatic event, C-PTSD reflects the cumulative impact of ongoing trauma and the associated disruptions in one's identity, self-worth, and interpersonal functioning.

Individuals with C-PTSD may experience intense and easily changeable emotions, difficulty managing or modulating their feelings, and tend to experience emotional extremes or feel overwhelmed very frequently. C-PTSD can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and a diminished sense of self-worth. The individual may have a negative self-image, struggle with feelings of helplessness or powerlessness, and have difficulty establishing a coherent identity.

Individuals with C-PTSD often face challenges in forming and maintaining healthy relationships. They may struggle with trust, feel unsafe, experience difficulties with boundaries, have problems with intimacy, and exhibit patterns of avoidance or aggression in their interactions with others.

Because of such wide-ranging and pervasive symptoms, C-PTSD can shape an individual's beliefs about themselves, others, and the world in very radical ways. In addition to low self-worth and beliefs associated with it, C-PTSD may be accompanied by various somatic complaints, such as chronic pain, gastrointestinal issues, headaches, and other unexplained medical conditions. These symptoms may be related to the physiological impact of chronic stress and trauma.

Dissociation is a common feature of C-PTSD, where individuals may experience detachment from their emotions, memories, or surroundings as a coping mechanism to manage overwhelming trauma-related experiences.

Bonsai

Trauma (especially the “small t” trauma) can be likened to everything that shapes a bonsai tree – small cuts and bends that slowly bend the branches, make them look older than they are. A tree grows because that’s what trees do, but it has to alter its growth under the pressure of external factors that continuously hurt it.

Like any plant, indeed, trauma begins as a seed, a single event or a series of events that deeply affect an individual's life. Just as a bonsai tree requires nurturing, trauma demands attention and care to understand its roots and the impact it has on one's growth. Just as the shape of a bonsai tree reflects the deliberate pruning and training it undergoes, trauma molds and shapes a person's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, often constraining their growth and potential.

However, it is important to remember that while trauma may restrict growth, it also possesses the potential to turn the painful lived experience into resilience and we do that through healing.

A skilled bonsai master can reshape and rejuvenate a tree, giving it a new life. Similarly, individuals can embark on a journey of healing and recovery from trauma. With the right support and resources, they can learn to untangle the roots of trauma and cultivate new paths for growth.

Through various personal growth practices including self-reflection, meditation, therapy and a helpful, nurturing environment, individuals can reclaim their strength and create a future that allows them to flourish, much like a bonsai tree that thrives under the care of a dedicated gardener.

Both trauma and bonsai trees exemplify the capacity for transformation and resilience when given the necessary attention and cultivation. Both show us that growing and developing can be both facilitated and halted by adversity and that the destination that we eventually arrive at is not the one we had imagined at the beginning of our journey, but the best we were able to do with the cards that were dealt to us.

The journey

Healing from trauma is a deeply personal and individual journey, unique to each person who has experienced it. The impact of trauma is influenced by a multitude of factors, including the nature and severity of the traumatic event, an individual's support system, past experiences, cultural background, and resilience. These diverse elements contribute to the way trauma is processed, understood, and ultimately healed. What works for one person may not work for another, as everyone's coping mechanisms, strengths, and vulnerabilities differ. Everyone brings their own narrative, emotions, and needs to the healing process, necessitating a tailored and flexible approach that respects their distinct journey and empowers them to find their path to recovery.

Even though trauma is such a personal and individual thing, we can outline some common components of every person’s healing journey. How to go about each of these is up to every person to figure out with their therapist.

·        The very first step is to conduct a thorough assessment and evaluation of the individual's trauma history, symptoms, and current functioning. In effect this also means acceptance. Before you can embark on a journey, you must know where you’re located, what your starting position is. Understanding all the different subtle ways in which your trauma has shaped you can help you make a future projection of where this road is eventually taking you. Once you have that, you can decide where to turn and where to start building a new path. That is acceptance: seeing things as they are. This part of the process is nothing to scoff at. It takes time and it can be filled with intense emotions – sadness, loss, pain, anger. All natural, all normal.

·        Establishing safety and stabilization is crucial before delving into trauma work. This may involve teaching coping skills, grounding techniques, and relaxation exercises to help the individual manage distressing symptoms and regulate their emotions. Because trauma shatters our ability to make sense of the event (or events) that caused it, the person living with its consequences often feels unsafe with other people or in even in their own bodies. Healing is never a one person job. A supportive environment or someone to guide you and to be accountable to is a vital part of the process, so being able to trust is important. If you struggle to trust your own body and your own mind, how can you trust that any change is stable or permanent? Therefore, before diving in deep, searching for a new narrative, a person must feel safe and reasonably confident in themselves and their loved ones.

·        Providing psychoeducation about trauma and its effects is an essential component. This helps individuals understand the impact of trauma on their mental health, normalizes their experiences, and provides them with information about the healing process. Learning about various approaches (even seemingly wacky ones) can be incredibly helpful. There is no standardized procedure that will work for everyone, but you can find potentially useful bits and pieces everywhere. Evidence-based procedures such as various types of psychotherapy or mindfulness-based interventions are a good place to start, but it’s not necessarily where psychoeducation can end. Spirituality and other more “fringe” areas of psychology can potentially offer creative outlets that may help a person process their trauma. It’s important to keep an open mind and use the knowledge to try new things and see what works.

·        Helping individuals develop effective emotional regulation skills and coping mechanisms is crucial for managing distressing emotions that arise as a result of trauma. This may involve teaching relaxation techniques, mindfulness exercises, and healthy coping strategies.

·        Trauma can lead to negative core beliefs about oneself, others, and the world. Addressing and modifying these core beliefs is an important aspect of trauma treatment. This may involve cognitive restructuring, challenging distorted thinking patterns, and fostering self-compassion and self-esteem. Living through such difficult times often entails losses and a sense of shattered beliefs. The loss doesn’t have to be external – it is enough to be mistreated by a parent or a person of power to face the loss of authority figures and not feel safe around them again. Loss takes many forms. Grief and loss work helps individuals process and come to terms with their losses, facilitating healing and moving forward.

·        While most of these “directions” can take place simultaneously or in whatever order a person wishes, learning how to trust and feel safe is usually the first step, and the final phase of trauma treatment focuses on integrating the traumatic experience into the individual's life story. It involves helping the person find meaning, develop a coherent narrative, and identify personal strengths and growth that have resulted from the trauma.

Art as a part of the journey

Art can be a powerful tool for individuals to process trauma and facilitate healing. Every week, as a part of Mindful Mondays, I send out a poem. My webinars, lectures and teachings often entail showcasing or practically using works of art. While I do like art, this is not why I put it everywhere. Art is not just something nice to look at, poetry isn’t just some lovely rhymes here and there and everywhere. Because trauma shatters our ability to speak about it, because it overloads our capacity to weave a narrative and give meaning, art can help us where words can’t. It’s through working with art and creating art that we can learn to symbolically represent our traumas and that helps us gain control over it, tell a new, more empowering story.

While art alone isn’t a substitute for counseling, it can and often is an important part of it. Art provides a non-verbal means of expressing emotions and experiences that may be difficult to put into words. Through visual arts, music, dance, or writing, individuals can convey their feelings and thoughts in a safe and creative manner. At the same time, creating art can serve as an outlet for releasing pent-up emotions associated with trauma. Engaging in artistic activities such as painting, drawing, or writing can provide a cathartic release, allowing individuals to express and explore their emotions in a controlled and constructive way.

Art encourages self-reflection and introspection. You will see a work of art and feel sick. This must have a reason and you can use that work of art to understand a part of you that feels that way. You can see a work of art and feel all warm and fuzzy – another learning opportunity. You may resist creating art or looking at it, and that, too can tell you a lot about where you are in the process and perhaps serve as an indication to build up your capacities and emotional regulation skills, to prepare yourself for deeper work.

Engaging in artistic processes can help individuals gain insights into their trauma, its impact on their lives, and their journey toward healing. Creating art can unveil hidden emotions, memories, and patterns that contribute to the understanding and processing of trauma.

Art can empower individuals by giving them a sense of agency over their trauma narrative. Through artistic expression, individuals can reclaim their voice, challenge the narrative of victimhood, and gain a greater sense of control and empowerment in their healing journey.

The bird’s eye view

While complete resolution of trauma may not always be possible, healing often involves a reduction in the intensity and frequency of distressing symptoms and a restoration of overall well-being. With time, support, and appropriate interventions, individuals can develop effective coping mechanisms, gain a sense of empowerment, and find meaning and purpose in their lives. Healing from trauma may involve integration of the traumatic experience into one's narrative, increased self-awareness, improved relationships, and a renewed sense of hope and resilience. It's important to acknowledge that healing is a nonlinear journey, and ongoing self-care and support are essential in maintaining progress and managing any residual effects of trauma.

Ithaka by C. P. Cavafy

As you set out for Ithaka

hope your road is a long one,

full of adventure, full of discovery.

Laistrygonians, Cyclops,

angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:

you’ll never find things like that on your way

as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,

as long as a rare excitement

stirs your spirit and your body.

Laistrygonians, Cyclops,

wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them

unless you bring them along inside your soul,

unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope your road is a long one.

May there be many summer mornings when,

with what pleasure, what joy,

you enter harbors you’re seeing for the first time;

may you stop at Phoenician trading stations

to buy fine things,

mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,

sensual perfume of every kind—

as many sensual perfumes as you can;

and may you visit many Egyptian cities

to learn and go on learning from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.

Arriving there is what you’re destined for.

But don’t hurry the journey at all.

Better if it lasts for years,

so you’re old by the time you reach the island,

wealthy with all you’ve gained on the way,

not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.

Without her you wouldn't have set out.

She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.

Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,

you’ll have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.