4 Common Misconceptions About Meditation
The widespread popularity of mindfulness seems to suggest that people believe it has the power to address or solve any issue by applying a mindful approach. Some of it is certainly backed up by scientific evidence. As a mindfulness teacher If that’s what you believe, I can’t blame you, all the propaganda out there easily seduces the strongest of us. While mindfulness undeniably offers significant benefits to our mental well-being, it's essential to recognize that it's not a cure-all solution. There is no magical remedy that can address all problems and those life hacks you read about are nothing but meaningless clickbait. There are no lifehacks in real life, only hard work.
Embarking on a meditation journey can be both thrilling and enriching, but it's important to acknowledge that it won't always be easy; challenges will arise along the way, and some of them will be earth-shattering. Those challenges are, in fact, the core of the process, and as hard as they may be, this is how you grow. Initiating this journey with an open mind and without unwarranted assumptions is crucial. In this blog, I want to talk about the four most common misconceptions I encounter working with clients. If you’re thinking about starting your meditation practice, you are doing yourself a favor if you start with the right expectations.
#1 Meditation is supposed to make me relaxed.
While relaxation is among the possible results of meditation and we know that, in the long run, meditation does lead to lower anxiety levels and improved stress resilience, it's key to understand that while meditation comprises a diverse array of practices, relaxation is not the immediate goal of either of them and, in addition, its advantages go beyond mere relaxation. Put as simply as possible, meditation involves directing your focus on the object of meditation and learning to let go of any thoughts, feelings, memories or other internal or external experiences that arise in the process. It’s the art of balancing awareness and concentration. This process can indeed bring about feelings of relaxation and diminished stress, but because it’s meant to bring you in touch with your present moment experience, it’s not (or even often) relaxing. Why? Because your present moment experience sucks at times, as does mine. Top of Form
When I teach meditation, I emphasize non-striving, an approach to meditation that eliminates any preconceived notion as to what a meditation session will look like. You sit to focus on your breath (for example). And your expectation is to become aware of what happens when you sit and direct your attention to the tip of your nostrils. That’s it.
When you approach meditation in such a minimalist way, you avoid forming unrealistic expectations. In addition, it puts all the emotional experiences in a clear perspective: whatever you experience – calm seas or storms – it’s meant to be let go of and you’re meant to re-focus on the object of meditation.
Meditation is about ongoing awareness of present-moment experiences, not about being relaxed. If you end up relaxed as a side-effect, good for you. Enjoy it!
Bottom of Form
#2 Meditation is just about sitting on the cushion.
Even though it’s not useful or productive to expect mindfulness to relax you, research tells us that once your practice is well-established, lower baseline anxiety will follow, as well as a host of other benefits. But these will come about slower or won’t come about at all if your mindfulness ends with the meditation cushion.
We can roughly differentiate between two types of practice. Formal practice, which is sitting on the meditation cushion every day, and informal mindfulness which refers to the practice of being present and fully engaged in the present moment in your everyday activities, without the formality of a dedicated meditation session. Both are necessary! Informal mindfulness involves cultivating mindfulness in your daily life by paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and surroundings as you go about your usual tasks and interactions.
In other words, meditation is not meant to change your morning or evening routine only, it’s meant to change your life. I always insist on this. If you come into the process expecting to do things as you did before but feel significantly better, then I suggest you take up drug addiction. My weird humor aside (no, I am not seriously advising you to be a drug addict!), if we must define a goal of having a meditation practice, it’s to live a more mindful life, which is why meditation means you will slowly transform your lifestyle.
What you’ll transform it into is not something I can’t know or assume – I don’t believe in scripted solutions for anyone. Every person is different and so everyone’s change will be different. I know that it will be profound. Your values and lived experiences will slowly point the way.
#3 Meditation without values or spiritual beliefs.
Mindfulness is an industry today, and we all have to learn to live with that fact somehow. The term "McMindfulness," often used in a critical context, refers to this rather annoying commercialization, simplification, or misappropriation of mindfulness practices for profit. Hard work, emotionally intense experiences and slow progress isn’t exactly what you’d think of a selling point!
To enhance sales and make meditation more palatable to the increasingly cynical Western minds, mindfulness has been stripped of its philosophical and spiritual dimension and, in my opinion, this was a big mistake. Mindfulness meditation as we know it and as it’s practiced by most of us, comes from Buddhism, although you can find equally beneficial meditation practices in Christianity, Islam or Judaism. Since Buddhism is what I know best, I’ll stick with that. In all Buddhist traditions, meditation comes with a package that includes a philosophy and a psychology. In other words, you get a wide framework that allows you to understand the experiences you’re having.
Meditation can cause suppressed memories to resurface, it can provide space for seemingly bizarre, intense emotional reactions, it helps us touch those parts of our psyche that we love to disown. And you don’t get to choose when this happens or how often it happens. There’s very little control over that aspect of the process.
If you practice meditation without having a superordinate theoretical framework, you are likely to feel easily overwhelmed and give up. I’ve seen this happen time and time again.
At the same time, it’s important to acknowledge that not everyone is interested in learning about Buddhism, even more so because this does entail beliefs that are not common in the West, or simply beliefs that many don’t want to adopt. To remedy this, when I teach meditation, I teach it with a philosophical and psychological framework that revolves around pragmatism, neopragmatism and constructivism. The latter is especially useful because it’s not without parallels with Buddhist psychology, and it operates on a meta level. This is just a fancy way of saying that constructivism gives you a method to understand what’s happening but doesn’t tell you what’s normal and what’s not. Instead, it helps you find your own way. At times, I might spice things up with Stoic philosophy or other Western schools of thought, but this depends on the client: I think it is my job to give you framework, but it’s your interests that will point the way.
#4 I’ll download an app or flip through a book and be on my merry way.
Many psychotherapists recommend mindfulness, and they often refer people to apps and tell them to do them daily. Like you’d prescribe a pill. This is because there are other things that psychotherapy is supposed to focus on, and because most therapists don’t actually meditate. They may have tried it once or twice, but the vast majority does not have a regular meditation practice. I should know, I’m a psychotherapy supervisor, so I hear about my colleague’s logic all the time.
Having an app is great. Especially when you’re a beginner, guided meditations are very helpful, because they allow you to gently internalize the techniques you decide to try. But they are not the end of your journey. In fact, they’re only the first step.
It is my most sincere belief that in order to make serious progress, one has to have a teacher or a mentor; at the very list, an accountability partner. I’m not trying to gatekeep the practice by any means, but without someone else to keep you in check and share their experiences with you to help you navigate your own, it’s highly likely that you won’t make much progress, or you’ll give up.
Engaging with a meditation teacher has many benefits for individuals wanting to create stable meditation practice. These benefits include structured guidance in navigating various meditation techniques, tailored instruction that aligns with your personal needs and goals, and the valuable feedback necessary for refining techniques and overcoming obstacles. The presence of a teacher also fosters accountability, promoting consistency in practice which is the key to personal development through meditation. Furthermore, teachers serve as mentors, providing support through the diverse stages of meditation, and their insight-rich explanations illuminate the intricacies of experiences.
